Forgiveness

At what cost are we forgiven? It's a question that comes to mind once in a while for me. I cringe at the simplistic answer "Jesus" because forgiveness is a deeper issue than that. Forgiveness of sins can be granted by God alone. Jesus emphasized this point when he claimed the ability to forgive sins (and thus claimed equality with God). But when I studied that statement in my class on the Gospels, the claim of forgiveness itself was not the issue. As my professor argued, it was easy to say that someone was forgiven, as that was a spiritual claim which could not be proven either way until that person reaches the final judgment (Matt. 9:2-8). But the healing, that was a problem because of the claim that Jesus made in doing it. Jesus made forgiveness sound simple here (Matt. 9:2, 5, 6). Jesus also warned at various times that people must forgive or face judgment for their likewise unforgiven sins (Matt. 6:12; Luke 6:37; John 20:23) So at what cost are we forgiven?

I say I'm sorry for stupid things. Unfortunately it happens frequently enough that I can remember times off the top of my head. But if I hurt somebody, or if I grieve God, what is the real cost of forgiveness? For the little things we often just brush them off; of course I forgive you for doing the little stuff that somehow hurt me. Maybe you were impolite to me. I'm over it. You are forgiven. But that's not the kind of forgiveness that I mean. And I think the reaction of not being mad or hurt by your (in)action begs the question of whether it's even actually forgiveness.

So what is forgiveness? It's ridding a debt between two parties. If I gossip about you, I have caused a problem for which I need to be forgiven. I have made myself the debtor in our relationship. No longer are we equals in this sense. My action has brought me into your debt. If I submit to it, you have control over me. Some people use this situation as a means for blackmail. You can lord the debt over me, though the degree of its effectiveness over my future actions depends on how I feel about it as well as other factors. There's a debt between two parties when forgiveness is necessary.

What is the cost of this forgiveness? I don't think about what it costs a person to forgive me. I don't think about the hours or days or longer that it takes for a person to forgive me. I don't think about Jesus' life when I ask for forgiveness of my sins. Occasionally I think about his death and resurrection. Sacrifices could not have imperfections. Jesus led a sinless life despite the temptations. Sins demand death. I am ransomed from death by the blood of the Lamb of God, who was slain for the forgiveness of sins of the world. Is forgiveness easy? Is it difficult? Was it difficult for Jesus? When he told people their sins were forgiven, did he think about his impending death on the cross? His resurrection? His ascension? Or did he just think of the authority granted him by the Father?

I don't fully understand the mystery of forgiveness. I know what it is. I know that I need it. I know that it is vital. It's costly. An innocent man gave his life for it. And I can - I must - forgive others as I have been forgiven. I must not let my pride keep me from forgiveness. It's challenging and freeing. But I feel unready and unworthy. And then I see grace in forgiveness.