Some thoughts and writings from the past month or so - it's a bit of a mix.
You're so isolated, by your own choice. You're miserable. You're struggling to stay above water when what you really need to be allow yourself to plunge to the depths. I saved you! declares the Lord. I gave you a family, a hope, a future. I gave you people to depend on, so that you would truly and rightly depend on me to provide for all your needs. And you know the words that I have spoken, you have experienced My power. And still you don't get it! You're defensive when you feel weak - though I have told you that I am strong in your weakness. That's where I work so well, but you have the choice whether to let Me. You hide your pain and weakness, but they are still so apparent to Me. Come, let Me enter in. Provide for Me a place in your heart and I will enter. I want to show you how much more there can be. I want you to know the fullness of rightness with the Father. I want you to know the power of the Spirit alive and working within you and through you. I want you to be completely and wholly set free. I want you to get past the trappings of the material world. I want you to be free from the trappings and pain of sin. I want you to know life in abundance. Why do you turn away my servants and demand signs and wonders of me so that you would believe and be open to me? Don't you realize that your claims are escapist? Why do you still not believe?
Why are we busy theologizing when people are crying out for the practical? Asking "how can this work out in life" and getting "think of it like this" perspective. . . . Sometimes we just yearn to know what to do with what we know. Why aren't we applying it to every aspect of our lives? Why the separation between head and heart? . . . We need to be challenged, to be held accountable. We need people to tell us that we're not living what we've been taught and commanded. Sometimes we need to be shaken to our core in order that we might cling fully to God and to truly know that to which we cling. Lord, bring those events down upon us. Thresh us, oh Lord our Lord. May the chaff be blown back to the dust while You oh Lord come into every part of our lives, saturate every part of us, that we would not be the same ever again. Lord, may we have encounters with You, the Living God, that would leave us forever changed. Beat us upon the threshing floor, that we could not hold onto anything but You. Tear it from our lives in Your mercy. May we not be so close and yet completely miss the truth of Your salvation, Holy Lord.
Almighty Lord, break these bonds that continually ensnare us. Raise us up as Your servants. Lord, change our lives. Without You we suffer and die. May You in Your infinite mercy, oh Lord, help us to see and to comprehend. Lord, it is not Your desire for us to be of infantile faith. You desire us to be whole in You. You desire for us to be mature in You. You desire so much more for us than we desire for ourselves. Lord, help us to desire that which You desire! May Your kingdom be realized and Your glory professed. May You who are enthroned above the earth reach into our lives and forever change us, oh Lord and God.
