The Joy of Christmas

It's been said so many times before: joy comes from the Lord; we shouldn't see it as being circumstantial. But you know what? I still fall into that trap a lot. Or I fall into a similar one ruled by cognitive dissonance. I have joy. And I can be happy. But I have a melancholy personality. When I feel crappy, I know I have joy in my Savior. But I don't really get excited about Christmas. Sometimes I question if something is wrong with me. I love my Lord. I want to share Him with others. He has given me the gift of generosity. When I get to serve others, that brings me joy.

There's less than 2 weeks until Christmas. Am I looking forward to it? Not particularly. I don't have gifts for any of my family members. And I can't really afford to get them anything. From past experience, they don't seem to really appreciate the effort I put into making things for them. So gift giving is nearly a lost cause for me. Based on the less-than-pleasant experience of visiting them over Thanksgiving, I'm not really looking forward to that aspect much, either. Or having strange conversations with my family about faith - my father would stop going to church rather than give up the Masonic lodge if he were forced to choose, because he doesn't want the church to stifle his freedom; my sister stopped going to church services and goes to a book study currently on The Shack; she may or may not believe in mediums or reincarnation. And they don't really understand why I'm in seminary. I feel like I don't get support for what I do or what I want to do from them. They are unsatisfied with the church they are members of, but they refuse to try to make a difference or to look for another church because they're all the same.

So what of this joy that I am supposed to experience this time of year? I have hope in my Savior. I have joy in Him and in ministering in His name, for His glory. Christmastime doesn't make me giddy or excited. I cherish the hymns that remind us of how amazing God's plan is for our salvation through Jesus Christ. I appreciate greens and poinsettias. But it seems like I'm missing something crucial. Instead of anxiously awaiting the celebration of the birth of the Savior, it seems like a cultural thing that I'd like to pass. I'd love to truly celebrate it. I'd love to celebrate it with my family. I'd love to spend an hour with them in prayer. I'd love to open up to them about life and spiritual matters. I'd love to share with them my faith. I'd love to share the importance of the Scriptures pointing to Christ, God's Son and humanity's Redeemer. I'd love for them to become a people of prayer. I'd love to see their lives truly changed by the Lord. I'd love for my father to be joyful, not cynical. I'd love for him to have godly friends and to spend time with them. I'd love for him to be a true spiritual leader in the family, not just a spiritual decision-maker, whether for good or bad. I'd love for my mother to study the Bible, to understand it deeper, to be able to defend her faith. I'd love for my sister to date a man of God, not a decent person who's an unbeliever. I'd love for her to see why and how there's a difference. I'd love to see her give up watching the trashy tv shows and music. I'd love her to be strengthened and encouraged and challenged in her faith. And I'd love to tell more people about the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ, wholly man and wholly God, who experienced what it is to be human, who gave his life as a ransom for sin, that all who believe and call on Him would be saved. And I'd love a godly woman to share my life and faith with me. I'd love to empower others to study God's Word and to live by it. I'd love to call believers to live in holiness. I'd love to call believers to go out and stand with God in His mission to bring His message of forgiveness by faith through Jesus Christ to all the peoples of the earth, whether that means in Appalachia, the Pyrenees, the Andes, the Urals or anywhere else. I'd love to call cultural Christians to make a choice about Jesus and to lay down their lives to Him in obedience. I'd love to teach those people who call themselves Christians and yet don't know what it means to be one. I'd love to explain the Scriptures to them, to tell them about God's mission to reach ALL peoples. I'd love to worship and rejoice with my brothers and sisters in Christ throughout the world, to share with them the cup, to teach them and learn from them. Is the joy of Christmas in knowing that God is in control? Is it that Christ has already won the victory for us? Is it to know the future is certain and that God is sovereign over it, as the prophets often understood and anticipated? Is it to have faith in the Lord regardless of our circumstances?

I'd love for you to join with me in praying for these things, that the Lord would be glorified in us and in all that He does. May the joy of Christmas, the hope in the Lord and Savior who came to save us and to call us to Himself, be spread to all the peoples of the earth.

Forgiveness

At what cost are we forgiven? It's a question that comes to mind once in a while for me. I cringe at the simplistic answer "Jesus" because forgiveness is a deeper issue than that. Forgiveness of sins can be granted by God alone. Jesus emphasized this point when he claimed the ability to forgive sins (and thus claimed equality with God). But when I studied that statement in my class on the Gospels, the claim of forgiveness itself was not the issue. As my professor argued, it was easy to say that someone was forgiven, as that was a spiritual claim which could not be proven either way until that person reaches the final judgment (Matt. 9:2-8). But the healing, that was a problem because of the claim that Jesus made in doing it. Jesus made forgiveness sound simple here (Matt. 9:2, 5, 6). Jesus also warned at various times that people must forgive or face judgment for their likewise unforgiven sins (Matt. 6:12; Luke 6:37; John 20:23) So at what cost are we forgiven?

I say I'm sorry for stupid things. Unfortunately it happens frequently enough that I can remember times off the top of my head. But if I hurt somebody, or if I grieve God, what is the real cost of forgiveness? For the little things we often just brush them off; of course I forgive you for doing the little stuff that somehow hurt me. Maybe you were impolite to me. I'm over it. You are forgiven. But that's not the kind of forgiveness that I mean. And I think the reaction of not being mad or hurt by your (in)action begs the question of whether it's even actually forgiveness.

So what is forgiveness? It's ridding a debt between two parties. If I gossip about you, I have caused a problem for which I need to be forgiven. I have made myself the debtor in our relationship. No longer are we equals in this sense. My action has brought me into your debt. If I submit to it, you have control over me. Some people use this situation as a means for blackmail. You can lord the debt over me, though the degree of its effectiveness over my future actions depends on how I feel about it as well as other factors. There's a debt between two parties when forgiveness is necessary.

What is the cost of this forgiveness? I don't think about what it costs a person to forgive me. I don't think about the hours or days or longer that it takes for a person to forgive me. I don't think about Jesus' life when I ask for forgiveness of my sins. Occasionally I think about his death and resurrection. Sacrifices could not have imperfections. Jesus led a sinless life despite the temptations. Sins demand death. I am ransomed from death by the blood of the Lamb of God, who was slain for the forgiveness of sins of the world. Is forgiveness easy? Is it difficult? Was it difficult for Jesus? When he told people their sins were forgiven, did he think about his impending death on the cross? His resurrection? His ascension? Or did he just think of the authority granted him by the Father?

I don't fully understand the mystery of forgiveness. I know what it is. I know that I need it. I know that it is vital. It's costly. An innocent man gave his life for it. And I can - I must - forgive others as I have been forgiven. I must not let my pride keep me from forgiveness. It's challenging and freeing. But I feel unready and unworthy. And then I see grace in forgiveness.

some thoughts and a prayer

I am becoming convinced that sarcasm/cynicism breeds contempt.

Pretty much every day there are things that I should have handled differently. I'm getting tired of the taste of my feet. Somehow there's solace in Matthew 18:21-22, but I still find myself questioning it so often. I don't just want to think about and hear about grace. I think that can be the easy way out instead of really delving into the issues. If effectively unlimited forgiveness is the case, why does my church family kick me and tell me to get up (or to stay out of their way) when I know I've fallen? Yes, they're sinners also saved by the grace of the same God. How can we love our neighbors when we get frustrated and sick of our own family?

How can I truly share the fullness of joy and love in Christ Jesus my Savior when I feel, and have felt for some time now, the vast distance between myself and Him? I feel so distant from Him. And I'm trying to get back, I'm making time, I'm praying, but God still just feels distant. Maybe someone will remind me that even my feelings can be wrong, that God still loves me, just as much as always, that He has plans for me, that He is sovereign, that I need to rejoice in good days and bad. I'm exhausted in pretty much every sense. The only thing really left to do is to go cry before my Father somewhere in private. Maybe He's just let me become this exhausted so that I will cry, so that I can come before Him fully broken, not just cracked and hoping to get refurbished. I don't know.

How far can I fall but Your grace will still catch me? I cannot fathom the answer. You who knew me before I was born, You who called me from long ago. You alone are my Help, Redeemer. What I deserve, I hope never to see even in my dreams. I cannot stand before Your Holiness as a sinner. What mortal can look upon Your glory? To live for You would be a gift to small for the Creator and Sustainer of the universe, of life. Jesus Christ suffered and died in my place. That is something I lose sight of far too often. Oh Lord, please heal my vision that I would see You clearly, that You would be the center of my focus. May not I but You be in control of my life. May what You desire be what I desire.

Obedience

I wish that I could say honestly that I am fully obedient to my Lord, at all times in all ways. But the more I know my Lord, the more I see how far away my shortcomings take me - and thus I see ever more the need for what He has done by His suffering, death and resurrection in order to forgive my multitude of sins and to bring me back into a right relationship with Him. And so the more I know Him and understand what He has done for me and for all mankind, the more I love and admire Him and the more I desire to serve Him.

To what extent should we be obedient to Him? We who believe and thus are saved are to become increasingly like Jesus Christ. Since He is God, disobedience to any of what He has commanded is sin. Therefore we ought to be striving to be fully obedient to His words, easy or difficult, for better or for worse.

Obedience should be of utmost importance to us. Jesus Christ died for our sins. Because of His obedience to the Father, we can rejoice in the fact that we have new life in Him. We ought to willingly submit our entire lives to Him. What should happen when obedience to God becomes detrimental to our earthly lives? We must seek to be obedient all the more. There are times when this is a tremendous challenge. But if Jesus Christ commands it, that should be sufficient for us to obey.

What if we are obedient but our ministries are unfruitful? We get frustrated. Without quantitative progress, perhaps resources we need will be diverted to faster growing areas, leaving us in need. Certain fields are considered ministerial "dead zones." But even there -- especially there -- our witness to the saving work of our Lord Jesus Christ must remain. As Hesselgrave wrote, "Years of patient preevangelistic endeavor may be the price of responsiveness" to the Gospel. We cannot give up. Even if there were no other reason to continue, Christ commands us to be witnesses. That alone would be enough. It doesn't make obedience easier, but regardless, we still must be obedient. Until His triumphant return, we are to be His witnesses. The sower must plant seeds in drought and in fair weather, for he never knows when the rains will come and when they will be withheld. The sower does not stop planting because the harvest is forecast to be small. Therefore let us have hope and be strengthened, obedient to our Lord and Savior. It may not be easy, but it is a worthy endeavor.

Beautiful Words

Lamentations 3:21-33

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul that seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for one to bear the yoke in youth, to sit alone in silence when the Lord has imposed it, to put one's mouth to the dust (there may yet be hope), to give one's cheek to the smiter, and be filled with insults.

For the Lord will not reject forever. Although he causes grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not willingly afflict or grieve anyone.


There is such beauty and pathos in Lamentations. These verses have been special to me lately as I recognize the certainty and assurance of God's love and His plans, the yearning for what has been promised, the perseverance and looking to God through trials, and the hope that is found in Him. Through big, life-changing events and the day to day insecurities, God is faithful and unchanging. In Him is my hope and my future.

On Maturing

Calling me a mature believer would be a vast overstatement. And I say that being aware that I'm not entirely aware of my faults and shortcomings and struggles. And yet my faith is so much more mature, strong and vibrant than many in the Church. Teaching all that Christ has commanded falls flat in many churches unfortunately. Can the "average Christian" in this age even explain his/her beliefs? Does s/he even know what s/he claims to believe? I'm not arguing that I am any better than others. Instead I see and point out the great chasm that separates the "average Christian", at least in this age and culture, from those who would contend for the faith and teach others and who seek to know and to follow all of Christ's commands. We need to be doing a lot more. Creating multitudes of "infantile" believers is hurting the Church in many ways. False teachers and false prophets draw away people who know no better, and somehow it becomes acceptable doctrine. Do you want a church that is able to be self-sustaining, prepared for growth, teaching truth, evangelizing, baptizing? Equip the members of the body of Christ for the work to which He calls us by the Holy Spirit. What can we do to strengthen and encourage and teach?

Another issue regarding maturity is checking our motivations. Why do you come to church, if you do? Why do you go to a particular church? Is it about Christ? Is it about worship? Is it about a feeling? Is it about the teaching?

Lord, may You build up Your Church and prepare her for Your glorious, triumphant return. May You lead us and teach us; help us to be effective followers and witnesses of Your work. May we be lights in the darkness.

Short But Profound

The pastor said something in his sermon a week or two ago that struck me. Although I already believed in the concept of "once saved, always saved", his logic on the topic was very simple and made great sense to me. Salvation is only gained by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. If there is nothing that we can do to earn salvation (and there isn't; we're all sinners, and the wage of sin is death), why then would there be any way to lose salvation? We are called as believers to be Christ's witness in this world, and that includes doing good works. But that's something we should be doing, and the Holy Spirit should be working in the lives of believers in this and many other ways. We still sin even though we believe, although we are being sanctified (actively, I would posit, as opposed to passively) by the work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of us believers. We still live by grace and thus are able to confidently believe that the work of Jesus Christ by his death and resurrection cannot be lost - otherwise it would be scarcely better than living under the Law alone.

Of course, I do have a question about OSAS. What about apostates? How can we clearly define apostasy? Is the heart of apostasy essentially a renunciation of one's faith (saying to God, "I reject what Christ allegedly has done for me and what He allegedly calls me to do")? If so, it would make sense that apostasy would not fit under the once saved, always saved category because it would be the only real way to undo what you once claimed. Are prodigals once and always saved? The simple answer is that only God truly knows their hearts, if they are questioning or rejecting or if perhaps they never truly believed.

Some might argue that any who commits sin is rebelling against God. By so doing they would claim that the sinner willfully rejects God by rejecting His will. Thus sin (notice how I'm avoiding defining it?) would be sufficient grounds for loss of salvation. That's why it's so important to work at it after we have it. But if sin causes us to fall from a right relationship with God, the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ brings atonement of our sins and brings us back into a right relationship. Would we lose and gain our salvation so easily as to sin, repent and believe time and time again? I guess that's how the living by grace comes into play. Nonetheless, I'll stick to the belief that there's only one Way to be saved. If we can't earn it, why would we possibly to able to un-earn it?