Sometimes we mistake our leaders for what they're not. They're not the answer to all our problems. They're fallible. They can and do make bad decisions, choose the path of pride rather than humility, and do things for selfish reasons. And it's easy, especially during election season, to see their faults.
I've noticed a sense of expectation toward seminary-trained people, too. They should have it all together. They should have God's blessing, since they're following Him. They should know where God is leading them. They have an inside track with God. Well, those who believe they've heard God's call haven't arrived.
As a person in seminary, I have struggles with pride, insecurities, and a lot of other things, too. I don't have a clue what's going to happen after my trip to southeast Europe. I have no job, no housing, nothing lined up. I'm not even sure what state I should live in. Most of my friends are in very different areas of life, and it's hard to find people who understand. It's hard to find friends who have time, too. I'm concerned that it's so difficult to even imagine what it will be like to work in the Balkans. It's disheartening to have so little idea what to expect in the next year of my life. And then there's that weird feeling in the back of my mind that maybe I won't come back. That I'll die in some freak accident before I even get there. It's an irrational fear. But the doubts about my future keep coming. And I've heard "not now" so many times in the last six months. I'm tired of hearing it. I'm tired of getting ready for change and then being disappointed. I'm tired of feeling stuck. I'm tired of spending time getting to know people and then they suddenly disappear and cut ties with me. I'm worn out from the turnover. Lots of people aren't great at keeping up; I understand. But what happened to those friendships that we built? I guess they were castles in the sand. I've sought wisdom about what kind of work to pursue. Nearing the end of my second degree, I don't know if I'm any closer to knowing how to spend my days. There are so many things that I could do, and I wish I could have some closure instead of fumbling over ideas when people ask.
I'm striving toward Christlikeness, but it's hard, and I fail a lot. That's perhaps one of the most significant lessons I've learned in seminary - that I fall short of what God wants - I fall really short. But Christlikeness is meant for all of us, not just seminarians. Every person is created in God's image. God's call isn't elitist. How can you be refined in the image of Christ? By making everyday choices. By trusting and believing what He reveals to you, even when it's small. Even when all you know is that you should be prepared to go, even if you don't know where and don't have the resources to make it.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Careful with Words
I've been guilty quite a few times of poor use of the English language. I use vague terms or archaic terms. Every so often I catch myself doing this, and then I get stuck in the awkward phase of wondering how to change my vernacular as I'm talking. Maybe this will make better sense with an example. So often when it comes to international missions, people talk about going overseas. Although this may be a correct explanation, it's still a worn-out term. Do people still talk about the Orient? They do, but countries and territories are called by their names rather than being called the Orient. If I go to Europe for missionary work, I am going overseas. But do international workers or expatriates live and work internationally or overseas?
I'm not just striving to be more politically correct. I want to be sensitive to other cultures. I do not want to go to another nation, another people group and look down on them because of their culture or because they have not yet heard about Christ. I want to be involved in missions; I want to be involved in God's mission. I hope to humbling serve with love, and that includes listening to how I talk. Am I talking down other cultures and, ultimately, people indirectly?
I'm not just striving to be more politically correct. I want to be sensitive to other cultures. I do not want to go to another nation, another people group and look down on them because of their culture or because they have not yet heard about Christ. I want to be involved in missions; I want to be involved in God's mission. I hope to humbling serve with love, and that includes listening to how I talk. Am I talking down other cultures and, ultimately, people indirectly?
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Quietude
The summer of '10 I moved to South Carolina. I wasn't sure what I was doing beyond taking what I perceived as a step of faith. I arrived without any job prospects, living in a cheap barracks-style apartment. There are 14 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms, one kitchen and one livingroom. In the year and a half that I've lived there, I would be hard-pressed to even remember all the guys who lived here. They come and they go, a lot like a long-term hotel. I've made some great friendships with a few of them, but we don't always get involved in each others' lives. We're roommates who may or may not even talk to each other, much less hang out.
I got a job that summer as a painter for Ben Lippen schools. I painted using 3 main colors: coir, cloth and quietude. The former two were shades of institutional yellow-tan; the latter was a teal-green. Quietude was used in the middle school classrooms, probably because greens supposedly have a calming psychological effect. Anyway, I spent a lot of hours painting quietude on the walls.
Why do I start talking about paint after not writing for so long? Maybe it's word association. But it's time to come back to the present. I'm sitting on my bed at the mission agency writing. I think everyone left to watch a college bowl game at someone's house. Since I'm not interested and rather tired, I decided not to go. It's strange being at a training and being pretty much the only person around. It leaves me with time to read all the books that I need to finish by the end of next week for my winter term class. And it gives me time to reflect on life (whether that's good or bad).
Since November, at least three close friends have moved away from Columbia. A fourth is looking for jobs and so I probably won't see him much even while he's still here. I just realized that 2 more friends left in December. Another one will probably leave by April. I know that I'm back in a college setting and that I should expect lots of change, but man, this stinks.
As I look forward to certain changes in my own life, I can't help but wonder about my current state. Is this better than if I hadn't come to seminary and incurred all this student debt? I'm expecting to graduate in December 2012 as long as things work out more or less how I think they will. But I'm pushing myself a lot. This last semester was spiritually catastrophic for me. Any gains made over the summer vanished in an instant. I have knowledge, but I still struggle with applying it to my own life. And for being almost ready to graduate from seminary, my knowledge of the Bible isn't great by a long shot. I worked as much as I could. I pushed myself to get all of my assignments done on time - and that was pretty hard with 3 classes. When I had free time, I crashed. It wasn't just unproductive, it was wasted. I didn't have the energy or motivation left to do anything worthwhile with it. I didn't even rest well; I fell into a kind of avoiding discomfort mindset. Friendships fell to the wayside too. And I regret that I essentially gave up on friendships for a while. Along with realizing and doing something about my need to cut back, my friendships could have kept me from falling so far. To those of you who prodded me as friends to keep in touch and hang out and talk, thank you. I needed it more than I was willing to admit.
The last few days I've been taking account of my life recently. I strive for so many things. I got good grades, but as so many have pointed out, how many people really ask what grades you got in seminary? Few, if any. I'm involved in good things, and often those things do help get me interacting with others, which I need. But it may leave me drained. And I don't know exactly what I'm going to do. Do I keep pushing, telling myself that it will get easier after (this semester, graduation, I get a job, etc.)? I know that it won't get easier if I keep this pace. I already crashed and burned. I want to be involved in ministry. I want to glorify God in it. I want to be able to share Jesus with people. Isn't that, along with a sense of obedience, why I made the plunge to seminary in the first place? I feel like I just keep getting held back longer from doing things that really make a difference. And in saying that, I realize that I might not be satisfied with mission either, because I'm making it a destination. What I do here has significance too. I might not see the results of what I'm doing, but that doesn't negate any effects.
I know at least 3 people who left grad school/seminary. I'm not sure how many of those will be back. This past semester I made a couple trips to the North Carolina mountains. That was my respite, even if it was very short. The second trip I was desperate to leave town even for a day. If I keep doing what I've been doing, I could be another person who leaves with only a couple classes left. I don't want that to happen.
So what do I change? Well, I guess that's what the next couple of weeks will decide. My job and ministry situations need to be made clear. I need to get the spring semester structured, since right now it looks like a lot of things going on and a lot of flexibility for scheduling. I need to schedule unstructured time for prayer and Bible study and creativity. I intended to do that last semester, and I never followed through on it. Here's to a better winter/spring....
I got a job that summer as a painter for Ben Lippen schools. I painted using 3 main colors: coir, cloth and quietude. The former two were shades of institutional yellow-tan; the latter was a teal-green. Quietude was used in the middle school classrooms, probably because greens supposedly have a calming psychological effect. Anyway, I spent a lot of hours painting quietude on the walls.
Why do I start talking about paint after not writing for so long? Maybe it's word association. But it's time to come back to the present. I'm sitting on my bed at the mission agency writing. I think everyone left to watch a college bowl game at someone's house. Since I'm not interested and rather tired, I decided not to go. It's strange being at a training and being pretty much the only person around. It leaves me with time to read all the books that I need to finish by the end of next week for my winter term class. And it gives me time to reflect on life (whether that's good or bad).
Since November, at least three close friends have moved away from Columbia. A fourth is looking for jobs and so I probably won't see him much even while he's still here. I just realized that 2 more friends left in December. Another one will probably leave by April. I know that I'm back in a college setting and that I should expect lots of change, but man, this stinks.
As I look forward to certain changes in my own life, I can't help but wonder about my current state. Is this better than if I hadn't come to seminary and incurred all this student debt? I'm expecting to graduate in December 2012 as long as things work out more or less how I think they will. But I'm pushing myself a lot. This last semester was spiritually catastrophic for me. Any gains made over the summer vanished in an instant. I have knowledge, but I still struggle with applying it to my own life. And for being almost ready to graduate from seminary, my knowledge of the Bible isn't great by a long shot. I worked as much as I could. I pushed myself to get all of my assignments done on time - and that was pretty hard with 3 classes. When I had free time, I crashed. It wasn't just unproductive, it was wasted. I didn't have the energy or motivation left to do anything worthwhile with it. I didn't even rest well; I fell into a kind of avoiding discomfort mindset. Friendships fell to the wayside too. And I regret that I essentially gave up on friendships for a while. Along with realizing and doing something about my need to cut back, my friendships could have kept me from falling so far. To those of you who prodded me as friends to keep in touch and hang out and talk, thank you. I needed it more than I was willing to admit.
The last few days I've been taking account of my life recently. I strive for so many things. I got good grades, but as so many have pointed out, how many people really ask what grades you got in seminary? Few, if any. I'm involved in good things, and often those things do help get me interacting with others, which I need. But it may leave me drained. And I don't know exactly what I'm going to do. Do I keep pushing, telling myself that it will get easier after (this semester, graduation, I get a job, etc.)? I know that it won't get easier if I keep this pace. I already crashed and burned. I want to be involved in ministry. I want to glorify God in it. I want to be able to share Jesus with people. Isn't that, along with a sense of obedience, why I made the plunge to seminary in the first place? I feel like I just keep getting held back longer from doing things that really make a difference. And in saying that, I realize that I might not be satisfied with mission either, because I'm making it a destination. What I do here has significance too. I might not see the results of what I'm doing, but that doesn't negate any effects.
I know at least 3 people who left grad school/seminary. I'm not sure how many of those will be back. This past semester I made a couple trips to the North Carolina mountains. That was my respite, even if it was very short. The second trip I was desperate to leave town even for a day. If I keep doing what I've been doing, I could be another person who leaves with only a couple classes left. I don't want that to happen.
So what do I change? Well, I guess that's what the next couple of weeks will decide. My job and ministry situations need to be made clear. I need to get the spring semester structured, since right now it looks like a lot of things going on and a lot of flexibility for scheduling. I need to schedule unstructured time for prayer and Bible study and creativity. I intended to do that last semester, and I never followed through on it. Here's to a better winter/spring....
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Love versus Faith
I've seen a trend in Christianity over the last decade. I'm sure that it's been around much longer, but that's about when I noticed it. God has become the God of Love. God loves you and wants to bless you. God's crazy about you. Love God, love others. I love Jesus. Love wins. It goes on and on. Yes, God loves us. Yes, God loves us in such a way that He sent Jesus to come and die for us, that we could have forgiveness of sins. Yes, the Law can be summed up as "Love God, love others."
Where does faith fit into the equation? Does love get us into heaven? The answer is that we need faith in Christ. "For by grace you have been saved through faith" (Eph 2:8). We are also justified by faith, not love. I think that often we act as though the two are equivalent, but they are not. Faith is the key ingredient in salvation for which we are responsible (Rom 3:25). There is the "righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe." (Rom 3:22). Why doesn't faith get preached as much as love? I would guess in part that love is a much more popular topic, at least in the US. Love panders to our sense of self-importance. God loves me, He wants me to love Him. We can also read our distortions of love into the relationship, which is harder to do with faith. We claim that God will understand when we fall in and out of love, the ebb and flow that pervades our lives. Perhaps faith conjures up a more consistent image of what we're called to do and be.
Where does faith fit into the equation? Does love get us into heaven? The answer is that we need faith in Christ. "For by grace you have been saved through faith" (Eph 2:8). We are also justified by faith, not love. I think that often we act as though the two are equivalent, but they are not. Faith is the key ingredient in salvation for which we are responsible (Rom 3:25). There is the "righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe." (Rom 3:22). Why doesn't faith get preached as much as love? I would guess in part that love is a much more popular topic, at least in the US. Love panders to our sense of self-importance. God loves me, He wants me to love Him. We can also read our distortions of love into the relationship, which is harder to do with faith. We claim that God will understand when we fall in and out of love, the ebb and flow that pervades our lives. Perhaps faith conjures up a more consistent image of what we're called to do and be.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Justified by Works
It has been a great privilege to teach a Sunday school class on James. As we discussed chapter two, we worked through what it means to be justified by works and how it is compatible with justification by faith alone. Then in the afternoon, the youth began to work on things for Youth Sunday, which is centered on "Come and follow," the calling of Simon and Andrew. My view of faith has been challenged today - not that it is too shallow but rather it is too narrow.
I have quoted Hebrews 11:1 as the definition of faith, as have many others. The ESV puts it, "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." I treat it like a dictionary definition, plucking it from the page and disregarding its context. That verse alone sounds like a conviction of one's belief, does it not? But even the very next verse is enough to shed further light on our understanding of faith. "For by it the people of old received their commendation." Faith is inherently demonstrative. Just read Hebrews 11:1-11. Faith as an ideal is futile. Faith that does not compel one to act accordingly isn't much different from an idea that someone thinks is good yet refuses to act on. Perhaps you think that driving a vehicle while texting is unsafe, but you do it anyhow. Is that thinking alone going to keep you from having an accident caused by texting? Of course not.
James meant that we are justified by works in the sense that we show our works; our good deeds are a demonstration to all that God has made a difference in our lives. Good deeds are evidence to others of our salvation for their sake. Our good deeds point to our Savior. So what is our testimony? Are we showing the world what it means to follow Jesus, living as He tells us to live? Or am I living the life of a hypocrite, saying one thing and doing the opposite? What do people see when they look at my life? My words and my actions need to say the same thing. I am not saved because of what I do, but what I do is a result of my salvation.
What am I doing with my witness? Jesus made the point that people don't light candles to be put under baskets and hidden. Do I use my deeds and my testimony appropriately, making the most of opportunities? I screw up a lot. But I also repent and strive to be a faithful witness to the mighty work of God a lot.
Simon and Andrew knew Jesus before He called them to follow Him. They heard Him, they listened to Him when it was convenient. Then one day, He picked them out. He called them to follow Him full-time, to learn from Him. Jesus took the initiative to make them His disciples. Their faith was evident at least this early. Sure, it took a while before they understood just who Jesus was and what that meant. But they recognized the importance of following and learning. They demonstrated their faith by leaving their livelihood and following Jesus.
God calls us to follow Him in many different circumstances. Some of us are called to travel to distant parts of the world to share the good news of forgiveness of sins and salvation. Some of us must follow Him through the business world, facing temptations to our integrity. But all of us are called to take up our cross daily and to follow Him. We may be called to leave our families or occupations for the sake of the gospel. We may be called to minister in spite of our prejudices and our weaknesses. Are we ready to truly follow God, whatever the cost? Do we realize just how important and valuable having that faith is? Have you ever stopped to consider how living your faith daily might affect those around you? Part of loving your neighbor as yourself is considering their condition and showing them mercy. Do they need your strength to help them through the day? Do they need your resources? Your love? Your friendship? Do they need to know your faith in order to restore or find their own? Go forth and be justified by your good deeds.
I have quoted Hebrews 11:1 as the definition of faith, as have many others. The ESV puts it, "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." I treat it like a dictionary definition, plucking it from the page and disregarding its context. That verse alone sounds like a conviction of one's belief, does it not? But even the very next verse is enough to shed further light on our understanding of faith. "For by it the people of old received their commendation." Faith is inherently demonstrative. Just read Hebrews 11:1-11. Faith as an ideal is futile. Faith that does not compel one to act accordingly isn't much different from an idea that someone thinks is good yet refuses to act on. Perhaps you think that driving a vehicle while texting is unsafe, but you do it anyhow. Is that thinking alone going to keep you from having an accident caused by texting? Of course not.
James meant that we are justified by works in the sense that we show our works; our good deeds are a demonstration to all that God has made a difference in our lives. Good deeds are evidence to others of our salvation for their sake. Our good deeds point to our Savior. So what is our testimony? Are we showing the world what it means to follow Jesus, living as He tells us to live? Or am I living the life of a hypocrite, saying one thing and doing the opposite? What do people see when they look at my life? My words and my actions need to say the same thing. I am not saved because of what I do, but what I do is a result of my salvation.
What am I doing with my witness? Jesus made the point that people don't light candles to be put under baskets and hidden. Do I use my deeds and my testimony appropriately, making the most of opportunities? I screw up a lot. But I also repent and strive to be a faithful witness to the mighty work of God a lot.
Simon and Andrew knew Jesus before He called them to follow Him. They heard Him, they listened to Him when it was convenient. Then one day, He picked them out. He called them to follow Him full-time, to learn from Him. Jesus took the initiative to make them His disciples. Their faith was evident at least this early. Sure, it took a while before they understood just who Jesus was and what that meant. But they recognized the importance of following and learning. They demonstrated their faith by leaving their livelihood and following Jesus.
God calls us to follow Him in many different circumstances. Some of us are called to travel to distant parts of the world to share the good news of forgiveness of sins and salvation. Some of us must follow Him through the business world, facing temptations to our integrity. But all of us are called to take up our cross daily and to follow Him. We may be called to leave our families or occupations for the sake of the gospel. We may be called to minister in spite of our prejudices and our weaknesses. Are we ready to truly follow God, whatever the cost? Do we realize just how important and valuable having that faith is? Have you ever stopped to consider how living your faith daily might affect those around you? Part of loving your neighbor as yourself is considering their condition and showing them mercy. Do they need your strength to help them through the day? Do they need your resources? Your love? Your friendship? Do they need to know your faith in order to restore or find their own? Go forth and be justified by your good deeds.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Getting the Boot
Caution: this post gets a bit ranty.
I've heard numerous times that the ministry expectancy of a campus minister is 1 1/2 to 3 years. That sounds absurdly short to me, but I can think of several examples. I can think of a few examples that buck the trend, and I will discuss those briefly as well.
By my estimation, 1 1/2 - 3 years is approximately the amount of time you often get with a group of college students. With most undergraduates taking 4-5 years to finish their degree, campus ministers typically only see part of that time to develop relationships, instruct them and send them out. I regularly attended 2 churches and 2 campus ministries during college. I had nothing to do with campus ministries my freshman year. Why? It just wasn't high on my to-do list, largely because I know why I needed it. I changed ministries and churches because I realized that it wasn't helping me get anywhere.
One Sunday morning as I sat in the church, I realized that if prayer and the Sunday duty of going to church was all of the Christian life, I didn't know how people could stand it. It was draining to do that. How could people live that way for decades?
A friend invited me to a place where I was challenged and given opportunities to learn about my faith and to take it seriously. And you know what happened? When I was challenged, I grew. I started caring more about faith. I started wanting to learn more. But I digress, sort of.
What happened there? I caught a vision of what it means to live the Christian life. I saw the love and joy in my peers and more importantly in my elders. I saw people who took seriously their faith, their personal, vital relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. I saw them live as servant-leaders. I saw them care about others coming to faith in the Lord. I saw them care about raising up mature believers and leaders. I got a vision for Christians doing life together, not just over coffee in the church basement Sunday mornings. I began to see what it means to live as a Christ-follower. I caught a sense of direction. This faith stuff has a point in this life, not just the life to come.
Now let's revisit campus ministry. College culture changes quickly. What works for one group of students very well might not be effective four years later. It's part of the challenge and nature of the work. But that doesn't mean the principles behind an effective ministry need to be continuously re-evaluated. We don't have to throw out what we learn from the Bible and reinvent our ministry every time we notice that we're losing effectiveness. But we should look for ways to keep relevant the ways we reach college students.
How do we evangelize unbelievers? We can try crusades, guest speakers, concert-like worship performances, giving away free stuff. We can hand out tracts, hold seeker services, hold evangelistic Bible studies, have religious forums to share the relevance of the Gospel to the lives of all. In all of this, it's important to ask what message our audience is receiving. Can they tell that we care about them? Do we share with them that God makes demands of our lives?
I think that often we oversimplify the Gospel when we share it. This may be why so many churches in the West have a lot of people but few who truly labor for Christ. How many go to church Sunday mornings and do whatever they want the rest of the week because they don't know and don't care beyond that? Do they know that believing in a creator god that they don't emotionally hate isn't enough to get them into heaven? Do they realize that going to heaven isn't the default? As a speaker I recently heard put it, they need to know the bad news before they can understand that the good news is good. Folks might be OK with God while not realizing that He holds their sin against them because they never sought repentance and forgiveness through faith in Jesus Christ.
It seems that a lot of campus ministers are good at one thing. They set up a ministry to reach a specific segment of college students. They often aren't that great at raising up leadership within the ministry. Now let me stop and explain that last assertion. Lots of campus ministers have student leaders and student leadership teams. Most of the time they're just the ones who've been with the ministry the longest or most often. They get a say in the small things - what activities, what kinds of outreaches, etc. But that doesn't mean that they're really being developed as leaders. Do they know how to start a Bible study on their own that's useful? Could they start a ministry if they recognized the need? Do they have the vision to reach all peoples with the Gospel? Do we really send them out when they are ready? Do we really mentor them as emerging leaders?
When that group of students leaves, are campus ministers prepared for the inevitable change? Have they considered what can be changed without forsaking the Gospel? Many just aren't that prepared to reinvent an entire ministry, even if it's necessary to reach the target population.
I believe that God calls campus ministers away from campus ministry for many reasons. Some are used to minister in other areas. Some need to grow and heal. And some just need to get the boot. I'm not saying that they're getting the boot simply because they're bad at campus ministry. Rather I would argue that some are evangelists, some teachers, some trainers. Some are great at sending out people to be new church planters and ministry leaders. We need to partner with others in ministry whose strengths are our weaknesses. And we need to cast vision for worldwide evangelization and disciple-making. We need to raise up leaders who will raise up leaders. We need to start churches that will start churches. We need people to go where we cannot. We need to give them the vision to go, to empower them with whatever they need - prayer, wisdom, knowledge, faith, etc. Are we working to give away ministry, or are we working to build up our own? I want to make myself obsolete time after time by raising up leaders and ministers who will go, who will reach out, who will do so better and further and more than I ever could.
I've heard numerous times that the ministry expectancy of a campus minister is 1 1/2 to 3 years. That sounds absurdly short to me, but I can think of several examples. I can think of a few examples that buck the trend, and I will discuss those briefly as well.
By my estimation, 1 1/2 - 3 years is approximately the amount of time you often get with a group of college students. With most undergraduates taking 4-5 years to finish their degree, campus ministers typically only see part of that time to develop relationships, instruct them and send them out. I regularly attended 2 churches and 2 campus ministries during college. I had nothing to do with campus ministries my freshman year. Why? It just wasn't high on my to-do list, largely because I know why I needed it. I changed ministries and churches because I realized that it wasn't helping me get anywhere.
One Sunday morning as I sat in the church, I realized that if prayer and the Sunday duty of going to church was all of the Christian life, I didn't know how people could stand it. It was draining to do that. How could people live that way for decades?
A friend invited me to a place where I was challenged and given opportunities to learn about my faith and to take it seriously. And you know what happened? When I was challenged, I grew. I started caring more about faith. I started wanting to learn more. But I digress, sort of.
What happened there? I caught a vision of what it means to live the Christian life. I saw the love and joy in my peers and more importantly in my elders. I saw people who took seriously their faith, their personal, vital relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. I saw them live as servant-leaders. I saw them care about others coming to faith in the Lord. I saw them care about raising up mature believers and leaders. I got a vision for Christians doing life together, not just over coffee in the church basement Sunday mornings. I began to see what it means to live as a Christ-follower. I caught a sense of direction. This faith stuff has a point in this life, not just the life to come.
Now let's revisit campus ministry. College culture changes quickly. What works for one group of students very well might not be effective four years later. It's part of the challenge and nature of the work. But that doesn't mean the principles behind an effective ministry need to be continuously re-evaluated. We don't have to throw out what we learn from the Bible and reinvent our ministry every time we notice that we're losing effectiveness. But we should look for ways to keep relevant the ways we reach college students.
How do we evangelize unbelievers? We can try crusades, guest speakers, concert-like worship performances, giving away free stuff. We can hand out tracts, hold seeker services, hold evangelistic Bible studies, have religious forums to share the relevance of the Gospel to the lives of all. In all of this, it's important to ask what message our audience is receiving. Can they tell that we care about them? Do we share with them that God makes demands of our lives?
I think that often we oversimplify the Gospel when we share it. This may be why so many churches in the West have a lot of people but few who truly labor for Christ. How many go to church Sunday mornings and do whatever they want the rest of the week because they don't know and don't care beyond that? Do they know that believing in a creator god that they don't emotionally hate isn't enough to get them into heaven? Do they realize that going to heaven isn't the default? As a speaker I recently heard put it, they need to know the bad news before they can understand that the good news is good. Folks might be OK with God while not realizing that He holds their sin against them because they never sought repentance and forgiveness through faith in Jesus Christ.
It seems that a lot of campus ministers are good at one thing. They set up a ministry to reach a specific segment of college students. They often aren't that great at raising up leadership within the ministry. Now let me stop and explain that last assertion. Lots of campus ministers have student leaders and student leadership teams. Most of the time they're just the ones who've been with the ministry the longest or most often. They get a say in the small things - what activities, what kinds of outreaches, etc. But that doesn't mean that they're really being developed as leaders. Do they know how to start a Bible study on their own that's useful? Could they start a ministry if they recognized the need? Do they have the vision to reach all peoples with the Gospel? Do we really send them out when they are ready? Do we really mentor them as emerging leaders?
When that group of students leaves, are campus ministers prepared for the inevitable change? Have they considered what can be changed without forsaking the Gospel? Many just aren't that prepared to reinvent an entire ministry, even if it's necessary to reach the target population.
I believe that God calls campus ministers away from campus ministry for many reasons. Some are used to minister in other areas. Some need to grow and heal. And some just need to get the boot. I'm not saying that they're getting the boot simply because they're bad at campus ministry. Rather I would argue that some are evangelists, some teachers, some trainers. Some are great at sending out people to be new church planters and ministry leaders. We need to partner with others in ministry whose strengths are our weaknesses. And we need to cast vision for worldwide evangelization and disciple-making. We need to raise up leaders who will raise up leaders. We need to start churches that will start churches. We need people to go where we cannot. We need to give them the vision to go, to empower them with whatever they need - prayer, wisdom, knowledge, faith, etc. Are we working to give away ministry, or are we working to build up our own? I want to make myself obsolete time after time by raising up leaders and ministers who will go, who will reach out, who will do so better and further and more than I ever could.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Purpose for the Sabbath
Yesterday I was listening to a recording of Calvin's Institutes of the Christian Religion, and he made a point that really struck me. The sabbath was instituted by God for numerous reasons. It demanded that people take a day of rest each week, something we tend to dismiss in our society. It allows us the opportunity to break away from the cares that weigh us down and to focus more fully on our creator and provider. And, John Calvin's point, the sabbath points us to Christ.
Exodus 20:8 (NASB) "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy."
What does it mean for us to keep it holy? Nobody is meant to work (Ex. 20:10). Though we work for six days, there is a time for us to have faith for and accept God's provisions (Ex. 16:26, 29). Certainly the sabbath is meant to be a memorial to God's work of creation (Ex. 20:11). It is even more than that, however, being a sign of our need to rest from our works. We cannot earn our way to eternal life. Our strivings count as nothing, for we have rebelled against the sovereign God. Yet in our fallen state we try to work our way to good things, as if the good that we manage to do must simply outweigh the bad for us to be rewarded. It doesn't work that way. It never has. It never will. God is jealous and righteous and faithful. If that were the case, we would exult ourselves, determining that faith or love or obedience to God might be superfluous, becoming full of hubris (Eph. 2:8-9).
The sabbath is a way to share with others our understanding that we must rely on God. I need to humble myself before Him. Regularly I must acknowledge Him for His power, justice, righteousness, faithfulness, love. Observing the sabbath points me (and others as well) to Christ because I cease to do the works that I'd done before, and I rely on Him for all that I need. Every week we live our salvation symbolically as we acknowledge Him who alone has the power and the desire to save us.
I believe that this is an integral part of Jesus' meaning when he said, "My Father is working until now, and I Myself am working," in response to working on the sabbath (John 5:17). God can work on the sabbath, because He alone saves. We must give our strivings to God. They have always been in His control, but often we try to hold onto them, to accomplish things under our own power. May we repent of this sin and by faith seek obedience to Him in all things.
Exodus 20:8 (NASB) "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy."
What does it mean for us to keep it holy? Nobody is meant to work (Ex. 20:10). Though we work for six days, there is a time for us to have faith for and accept God's provisions (Ex. 16:26, 29). Certainly the sabbath is meant to be a memorial to God's work of creation (Ex. 20:11). It is even more than that, however, being a sign of our need to rest from our works. We cannot earn our way to eternal life. Our strivings count as nothing, for we have rebelled against the sovereign God. Yet in our fallen state we try to work our way to good things, as if the good that we manage to do must simply outweigh the bad for us to be rewarded. It doesn't work that way. It never has. It never will. God is jealous and righteous and faithful. If that were the case, we would exult ourselves, determining that faith or love or obedience to God might be superfluous, becoming full of hubris (Eph. 2:8-9).
The sabbath is a way to share with others our understanding that we must rely on God. I need to humble myself before Him. Regularly I must acknowledge Him for His power, justice, righteousness, faithfulness, love. Observing the sabbath points me (and others as well) to Christ because I cease to do the works that I'd done before, and I rely on Him for all that I need. Every week we live our salvation symbolically as we acknowledge Him who alone has the power and the desire to save us.
I believe that this is an integral part of Jesus' meaning when he said, "My Father is working until now, and I Myself am working," in response to working on the sabbath (John 5:17). God can work on the sabbath, because He alone saves. We must give our strivings to God. They have always been in His control, but often we try to hold onto them, to accomplish things under our own power. May we repent of this sin and by faith seek obedience to Him in all things.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
South Carolina
I know it's been a while since I last updated here. In short, the spring semester was very busy, and this blog wasn't near the top of my Important Stuff list.
I've been in South Carolina for three Sundays already. Twice I went to a conservative PCA church. It felt normal. They worship God earnestly. It was by no means unwelcoming - a group of folks my age invited me for lunch after the service, and a couple of them even were willing to spread the word that I was looking for work. Yet it just felt.... average. Maybe it's just that I'm not really Presbyterian. I'm seeking a place with challenging love and teaching, where the church has a vision for reaching out and fulfilling the Great Commission locally and to the farthest reaches of the earth.
Today I visited a nondenominational community church near Irmo. The building appeared to be rather new. Walking inside, I was greeted casually. Large, easy-to-read signage pointed to the auditorium, kid sign-in/drop-off, etc. The auditorium was filled with rows of padded chairs. It felt slightly utilitarian but welcoming, like they were deconstructing church for the sake of visitors. I don't mean that to sound as harsh as perhaps it does, but this was a recurring theme.
The bulletin was essentially a church brochure. There's a paragraph describing the general order of a service, a few blurbs about upcoming events (in a couple months, _____ will happen), but most of the paper tells me general information about what to expect and what's available. Unfortunately I don't see details. When specifically do the teens or small groups meet? How do I get involved in anything besides going to the church website? If I return to that church, I think I'll skip the promo literature next time. It's oriented to the first-time church comer.
The pastor's message was on introducing people to Jesus based on Levi and Jesus' interaction in Luke 5. The congregation read the verses together on two projector screens. I like unified reading. Cool. As for the message, it was very heavy on story, both personal and in terms of adding to the Scripture passage. If you want to infer things, meh. Often it doesn't significantly add anything useful (the Holy Spirit did know exactly what should be given to us for teaching and living as He inspired the authors of the Bible, and He continues to apply its truth in our lives and minds and hearts).
The teaching was solid. He called for action (even if he did emphasize taking very small steps rather than taking whatever steps the Holy Spirit directs you to take). He shared how he personally faced that kind of situation. But it wasn't deep. The message could have been shared as-is with middle schoolers, and they'd get it. A visitor with no connection to Christianity could completely understand and not be offended by any part of the message.
While it's great to have churches that care substantially about reaching the lost and giving them a place to call home, where they can learn about and experience Christianity, it also plays into a question posed by Alan on his blog: What is the purpose of the church, specifically when we gather for corporate worship? Is corporate teaching and prayer and worship for the sinner or the saved? I will contend that churches need to be living, growing communities of faith, welcoming and nourishing to those who visit. But the visitor is just that - a visitor. It is imperative that we come together for the good of the body. Let's prepare people, disciple them, teach them to keep all of Christ's commands and send them out to do likewise.
What happens when the storms of life come and overwhelm our house build upon the rock at the shore? The foundation may be firm, but we will get wet. And after a while, we might go looking for something else. I want to know and experience God. I want my faith to be built on a trustworthy foundation. I want to be able to faithfully withstand anything. Are we really helping believers to mature if our message is that people come together for parties. Therefore Levi threw a party to introduce people to Jesus. Go out and introduce someone to Jesus. Fine, but that's all you're teaching for the week? Really? How is that helping people to obey all that Christ commands?
Growth certainly has an experiential aspect to it, but Jesus repeatedly took the time and effort to reveal what the Scriptures said and applied it. For a wonderful example, read Luke 24:15-27. That sounds pretty in-depth. The writer of Hebrews lamented over the audience's spiritual immaturity as evidenced by their need for basic teaching (5:12). Are we fulfilling our responsibility to teach others to be disciples who are mature and obedient to all that Christ commands? We need to be.
I've been in South Carolina for three Sundays already. Twice I went to a conservative PCA church. It felt normal. They worship God earnestly. It was by no means unwelcoming - a group of folks my age invited me for lunch after the service, and a couple of them even were willing to spread the word that I was looking for work. Yet it just felt.... average. Maybe it's just that I'm not really Presbyterian. I'm seeking a place with challenging love and teaching, where the church has a vision for reaching out and fulfilling the Great Commission locally and to the farthest reaches of the earth.
Today I visited a nondenominational community church near Irmo. The building appeared to be rather new. Walking inside, I was greeted casually. Large, easy-to-read signage pointed to the auditorium, kid sign-in/drop-off, etc. The auditorium was filled with rows of padded chairs. It felt slightly utilitarian but welcoming, like they were deconstructing church for the sake of visitors. I don't mean that to sound as harsh as perhaps it does, but this was a recurring theme.
The bulletin was essentially a church brochure. There's a paragraph describing the general order of a service, a few blurbs about upcoming events (in a couple months, _____ will happen), but most of the paper tells me general information about what to expect and what's available. Unfortunately I don't see details. When specifically do the teens or small groups meet? How do I get involved in anything besides going to the church website? If I return to that church, I think I'll skip the promo literature next time. It's oriented to the first-time church comer.
The pastor's message was on introducing people to Jesus based on Levi and Jesus' interaction in Luke 5. The congregation read the verses together on two projector screens. I like unified reading. Cool. As for the message, it was very heavy on story, both personal and in terms of adding to the Scripture passage. If you want to infer things, meh. Often it doesn't significantly add anything useful (the Holy Spirit did know exactly what should be given to us for teaching and living as He inspired the authors of the Bible, and He continues to apply its truth in our lives and minds and hearts).
The teaching was solid. He called for action (even if he did emphasize taking very small steps rather than taking whatever steps the Holy Spirit directs you to take). He shared how he personally faced that kind of situation. But it wasn't deep. The message could have been shared as-is with middle schoolers, and they'd get it. A visitor with no connection to Christianity could completely understand and not be offended by any part of the message.
While it's great to have churches that care substantially about reaching the lost and giving them a place to call home, where they can learn about and experience Christianity, it also plays into a question posed by Alan on his blog: What is the purpose of the church, specifically when we gather for corporate worship? Is corporate teaching and prayer and worship for the sinner or the saved? I will contend that churches need to be living, growing communities of faith, welcoming and nourishing to those who visit. But the visitor is just that - a visitor. It is imperative that we come together for the good of the body. Let's prepare people, disciple them, teach them to keep all of Christ's commands and send them out to do likewise.
What happens when the storms of life come and overwhelm our house build upon the rock at the shore? The foundation may be firm, but we will get wet. And after a while, we might go looking for something else. I want to know and experience God. I want my faith to be built on a trustworthy foundation. I want to be able to faithfully withstand anything. Are we really helping believers to mature if our message is that people come together for parties. Therefore Levi threw a party to introduce people to Jesus. Go out and introduce someone to Jesus. Fine, but that's all you're teaching for the week? Really? How is that helping people to obey all that Christ commands?
Growth certainly has an experiential aspect to it, but Jesus repeatedly took the time and effort to reveal what the Scriptures said and applied it. For a wonderful example, read Luke 24:15-27. That sounds pretty in-depth. The writer of Hebrews lamented over the audience's spiritual immaturity as evidenced by their need for basic teaching (5:12). Are we fulfilling our responsibility to teach others to be disciples who are mature and obedient to all that Christ commands? We need to be.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Revisiting Holy Week part 1
I'm still wrestling with what to do with contemplative Christianity. To some extent I agree with reformers like John Calvin who detested icons and statues and images in a house of worship to the Lord. I also have an uneasiness about "emptying the mind/soul" and using "spiritual aids" like prayer labyrinths. However, I think that it is good to take time away from what we consider regular life to meet with God, to converse with Him and to dwell with ever more focus on His teachings, to live out the love and grace that He alone can provide and to grow in our sanctification. Our goal is to be like our Savior - to be transformed into Christlikeness, following His teachings and commands to "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself" (Luke 10:27). This includes "going to all nations and making disciples, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey all that He has commanded" (Matt. 28:19-20).
It is a worthy endeavor to think upon the life and purpose of Jesus Christ. The Gospels spend substantial time relating the events of Passion Week. By meditating on the holy word given to us through the Spirit, we can seek to be transformed by that same Spirit, to be more like our Savior. However we must be careful to live this out not only in our minds but in all parts of our lives - with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. Lord, may we live this out fully in our lives by Your grace. Deliver us from temptation and help us to live for You in real and concrete ways all the days of our lives.
Here is a brief look at the events of the weekend that included Palm Sunday. May it lead us ever closer to our Savior.
Likely after sunset on Friday before Passion Week, Jesus and his disciples arrived at the home of Mary, Martha and Lazarus at Bethany. This would be their home base until the following Thursday.
Over the weekend, the group is invited to dine at the residence of Simon the Leper. While there, Mary pours out a jar of pure nard on Jesus' head and feet, which Jesus sees as a symbolic preparation for his burial. Judas claims that the cost of the perfume could have been given to the poor, and in John's account Judas' flawed character is first noted.
On Palm Sunday, Jesus sent two disciples into Jerusalem to acquire a donkey's colt for him to ride into town. They found everything as Jesus predicted. Jesus rode into Jerusalem triumphantly on the colt to the praise and adoration of the crowds, who see him as the miracle-worker who raised Lazarus from the dead, a mighty healer, and the Son of David. His triumphal entry marks the fulfillment of Is. 62:11-12, Zech. 9:9 and the beginning action of Ezek. 44:2. The crowds put their cloaks and palm branches on the path for him and shout, "Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David! Hosanna in the highest!" (Mark 11:9-10). Here Jesus begins to fulfill Ps. 118:15-29. In the city, Jesus went to the temple and performed his final healing ministry before his crucifixion. The chief priests and teachers of the law are offended by the crowds' response to Jesus and seek to rebuke him. That night Jesus and his disciples return to Bethany.
It is a worthy endeavor to think upon the life and purpose of Jesus Christ. The Gospels spend substantial time relating the events of Passion Week. By meditating on the holy word given to us through the Spirit, we can seek to be transformed by that same Spirit, to be more like our Savior. However we must be careful to live this out not only in our minds but in all parts of our lives - with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. Lord, may we live this out fully in our lives by Your grace. Deliver us from temptation and help us to live for You in real and concrete ways all the days of our lives.
Here is a brief look at the events of the weekend that included Palm Sunday. May it lead us ever closer to our Savior.
Likely after sunset on Friday before Passion Week, Jesus and his disciples arrived at the home of Mary, Martha and Lazarus at Bethany. This would be their home base until the following Thursday.
Over the weekend, the group is invited to dine at the residence of Simon the Leper. While there, Mary pours out a jar of pure nard on Jesus' head and feet, which Jesus sees as a symbolic preparation for his burial. Judas claims that the cost of the perfume could have been given to the poor, and in John's account Judas' flawed character is first noted.
On Palm Sunday, Jesus sent two disciples into Jerusalem to acquire a donkey's colt for him to ride into town. They found everything as Jesus predicted. Jesus rode into Jerusalem triumphantly on the colt to the praise and adoration of the crowds, who see him as the miracle-worker who raised Lazarus from the dead, a mighty healer, and the Son of David. His triumphal entry marks the fulfillment of Is. 62:11-12, Zech. 9:9 and the beginning action of Ezek. 44:2. The crowds put their cloaks and palm branches on the path for him and shout, "Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David! Hosanna in the highest!" (Mark 11:9-10). Here Jesus begins to fulfill Ps. 118:15-29. In the city, Jesus went to the temple and performed his final healing ministry before his crucifixion. The chief priests and teachers of the law are offended by the crowds' response to Jesus and seek to rebuke him. That night Jesus and his disciples return to Bethany.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Vulnerability, Being "Truefaced", Genuine
I've been reading a couple of books for classes lately that have been dealing with how we as believers interact and share the gospel. One of the points that was made several times and has shown itself important in my life lately is the need to be honest and vulnerable with others. It's time for the facade to disappear. Why do we submit an unrealistic portrait of ourselves to the watching world? Believers don't have everything figured out. I'm broken, a sinner saved by the grace of God through faith in Jesus Christ, a saint by merit of that same grace. I'm unsure of myself; I question God sometimes; I view myself as weak, especially in certain areas like meeting new people. But so many people don't get to see the weakness, as if it shouldn't be there. Yet God declares that His power is made perfect in (our) weakness and that His grace is sufficient for us (2 Cor 12:9). If we truly believe that, we need to be putting that faith into action and allowing the Spirit of God to use us and to conform us to His image.
Sometimes evangelism is straightforward. We have an international bible study with quite a few nonbelievers who have little exposure to Christianity. We can tell them about Jesus, who He is, what He's done, why that's important and what difference it makes. But we also can and should share our love with them. We can take them places, befriend them, show them that we're human too. It's important to share a level of self-disclosure with them. It helps them to see who we are and what Christ does in our individual lives.
After all, isn't it important that believers are witnesses not just of the history of God's interaction with humankind but, importantly, His interaction in our own lives? Is a witness one who declares what has been, as a historian, or is it a person who experienced something and shares/recounts that experience with others? If we lead detached lives, detached friendships, detached ministries, we are refusing to show people God's greatest gift in our own lives - His salvation that He has given us. Not every moment calls for us to share our testimony with others, and likewise not every moment calls for us to share Scripture. We need to be fluent in sharing both experience and God's word. Experience does not trump Scripture, but a changed life is a great thing to share. Do we root that changed life in the revelation of God or should a changed life be all the evidence a person needs to recognize Christ, repent and believe and persevere in the faith? If experience were all, there would not be a need for the Word of God. But having it, we should be reading it, learning and applying it appropriately. For we know, "All Scripture is God-breathed, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be perfected, thoroughly furnished to every good work" (2 Tim. 3:16-17).
Who am I to others? Who are you? What are you trying to let people see, and what are they really seeing when they look at you? Are you willing to appear undignified for the sake of Christ? Are you willing to show that you can be vulnerable or that you don't have it all together? Which is more important to you: self-image or doing what it takes to "gain the more" as the apostle Paul wrote in 1 Cor. 9:19-22? It's time to be a willing vessel for the Lord to use so that His glory would be proclaimed and that salvation would come to the ends of the earth. Would you die to yourself daily if that's what it takes? Jesus demands no less (Luke 9:23).
Sometimes evangelism is straightforward. We have an international bible study with quite a few nonbelievers who have little exposure to Christianity. We can tell them about Jesus, who He is, what He's done, why that's important and what difference it makes. But we also can and should share our love with them. We can take them places, befriend them, show them that we're human too. It's important to share a level of self-disclosure with them. It helps them to see who we are and what Christ does in our individual lives.
After all, isn't it important that believers are witnesses not just of the history of God's interaction with humankind but, importantly, His interaction in our own lives? Is a witness one who declares what has been, as a historian, or is it a person who experienced something and shares/recounts that experience with others? If we lead detached lives, detached friendships, detached ministries, we are refusing to show people God's greatest gift in our own lives - His salvation that He has given us. Not every moment calls for us to share our testimony with others, and likewise not every moment calls for us to share Scripture. We need to be fluent in sharing both experience and God's word. Experience does not trump Scripture, but a changed life is a great thing to share. Do we root that changed life in the revelation of God or should a changed life be all the evidence a person needs to recognize Christ, repent and believe and persevere in the faith? If experience were all, there would not be a need for the Word of God. But having it, we should be reading it, learning and applying it appropriately. For we know, "All Scripture is God-breathed, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be perfected, thoroughly furnished to every good work" (2 Tim. 3:16-17).
Who am I to others? Who are you? What are you trying to let people see, and what are they really seeing when they look at you? Are you willing to appear undignified for the sake of Christ? Are you willing to show that you can be vulnerable or that you don't have it all together? Which is more important to you: self-image or doing what it takes to "gain the more" as the apostle Paul wrote in 1 Cor. 9:19-22? It's time to be a willing vessel for the Lord to use so that His glory would be proclaimed and that salvation would come to the ends of the earth. Would you die to yourself daily if that's what it takes? Jesus demands no less (Luke 9:23).
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Dealing with Anger
To say that I've been stressed, frustrated, angry lately would be, unfortunately, understatements. Talking about it hasn't helped. Leaving the situation for a couple days didn't help. In fact, it might have made it worse. What can I do? I have failed so many times this past week in my anger. And perhaps because of my anger, I have failed in other areas. I don't know what to do other than to find a way to extricate myself from the conditions that have brought on such anger. But does that really solve the underlying vulnerability to anger? It seems like that is something that must be dealt with, but how?
I'm at my breaking point - emotionally, mentally, physically. I'm tired of being tired, of not sleeping well, of feeling like crap. Usually when I don't sleep well and feel bad long enough, I start to come to God. And we get things straightened out. God feels so distant this time. And it's so hard... In short, I still feel broken. And powerless. And stuck, oh how stuck I feel. And useless. I can't relax enough to even have a conversation with God. I've tried and given up. If this is testing, I cannot fathom the purpose of the test. If this is redemptive suffering, great. But I'm already saved by grace through Jesus Christ's death and resurrection. Is it to bear witness to others through my circumstances? I know not the point of going through this. But I can be relatively sure that it's shortening my lifespan. The stress response affects my body, affects my blood vessels. But it's not about self-preservation. It's affecting my life, my relationships, who I am and how I share that with others.
Father, I can't get out of this on my own. Circumstances surround me, try to hold me down. I slip backwards into depression and anger. How can I share your love with others when it seems to vanish from my own presence? Fill my cup, oh Lord. Let it overflow. You know exactly what I need. In my brokenness and weakness, You are strong, and Your strength shines through. Lord, I need You. I feel like I'm falling to pieces. I would love to have a new place to live, a place that I can afford, close to friends, where I can relax when I come home, study and do schoolwork, prepare for ministries, and have people come over. I don't think I can do this commuting thing for another semester, dealing with all the little things too. But it feels like things just aren't finished in Indiana. If I leave here now, I leave my church, my friends, bible study, the job that you provided me that I'm still waiting to start. I don't have the money to move to South Carolina yet or a way to find an apartment there. I know that You can take care of all of that for me. But it doesn't seem like I'm supposed to leave here yet. What am I supposed to do? Where can I go but to You? Lord, be my Provider again. Prepare me for this semester, that even in studying I would glorify You, my Lord and my Father. Help me to overcome anger, depression and frustration. And help me to be satisfied with your provision in my life. I need You. I need You so much. I need You to fill the void in my heart and in my life. I'm tired, and tired of feeling frustrated. I'm tired of feeling alone. I'm tired of getting my heart trampled on when I'm looking even just for friendship or occasional sympathy. I don't want to be a bitter person. But so many things are pushing me down the path that I don't want to go. And I've already fallen down that path. Lord, I need You! I need You to pull me out, to rescue me! I need You to make this life worth living. I am empty. I have nothing left to give to others. I can't stand for ministry to be rote. I need Your love in my life. I need to rely on You. I need an escape from what keeps me bound. I need a rescue, oh God. Please, rescue me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-v91MIT4GEg
I'm at my breaking point - emotionally, mentally, physically. I'm tired of being tired, of not sleeping well, of feeling like crap. Usually when I don't sleep well and feel bad long enough, I start to come to God. And we get things straightened out. God feels so distant this time. And it's so hard... In short, I still feel broken. And powerless. And stuck, oh how stuck I feel. And useless. I can't relax enough to even have a conversation with God. I've tried and given up. If this is testing, I cannot fathom the purpose of the test. If this is redemptive suffering, great. But I'm already saved by grace through Jesus Christ's death and resurrection. Is it to bear witness to others through my circumstances? I know not the point of going through this. But I can be relatively sure that it's shortening my lifespan. The stress response affects my body, affects my blood vessels. But it's not about self-preservation. It's affecting my life, my relationships, who I am and how I share that with others.
Father, I can't get out of this on my own. Circumstances surround me, try to hold me down. I slip backwards into depression and anger. How can I share your love with others when it seems to vanish from my own presence? Fill my cup, oh Lord. Let it overflow. You know exactly what I need. In my brokenness and weakness, You are strong, and Your strength shines through. Lord, I need You. I feel like I'm falling to pieces. I would love to have a new place to live, a place that I can afford, close to friends, where I can relax when I come home, study and do schoolwork, prepare for ministries, and have people come over. I don't think I can do this commuting thing for another semester, dealing with all the little things too. But it feels like things just aren't finished in Indiana. If I leave here now, I leave my church, my friends, bible study, the job that you provided me that I'm still waiting to start. I don't have the money to move to South Carolina yet or a way to find an apartment there. I know that You can take care of all of that for me. But it doesn't seem like I'm supposed to leave here yet. What am I supposed to do? Where can I go but to You? Lord, be my Provider again. Prepare me for this semester, that even in studying I would glorify You, my Lord and my Father. Help me to overcome anger, depression and frustration. And help me to be satisfied with your provision in my life. I need You. I need You so much. I need You to fill the void in my heart and in my life. I'm tired, and tired of feeling frustrated. I'm tired of feeling alone. I'm tired of getting my heart trampled on when I'm looking even just for friendship or occasional sympathy. I don't want to be a bitter person. But so many things are pushing me down the path that I don't want to go. And I've already fallen down that path. Lord, I need You! I need You to pull me out, to rescue me! I need You to make this life worth living. I am empty. I have nothing left to give to others. I can't stand for ministry to be rote. I need Your love in my life. I need to rely on You. I need an escape from what keeps me bound. I need a rescue, oh God. Please, rescue me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-v91MIT4GEg
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Proverbs 27:19
Proverbs 27:19 fascinates me. I've seen it true so many times. Also there's quite a spin on interpretation when reading some versions.
19As in water face reflects face, So the heart of man reflects man. (NASB)
19 Like face looking at face in water, so are the hearts of men to one another. (BBE)
19 As in water face answereth to face, So the heart of man to man. (ASV)
19 You see your face in a mirror and your thoughts in the minds of others. (CEV)
19 As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man. (ESV)
19 As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man. (NIV)
19 As water reflects the face, so one human heart reflects another (NRSV, if memory serves right)
Maybe I'm just being too reflective. It happens when I have more time and less to do than I can handle. Ok, enough reflecting on here since I'm not going to do a complete mindspew anyway.
19As in water face reflects face, So the heart of man reflects man. (NASB)
19 Like face looking at face in water, so are the hearts of men to one another. (BBE)
19 As in water face answereth to face, So the heart of man to man. (ASV)
19 You see your face in a mirror and your thoughts in the minds of others. (CEV)
19 As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man. (ESV)
19 As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man. (NIV)
19 As water reflects the face, so one human heart reflects another (NRSV, if memory serves right)
Maybe I'm just being too reflective. It happens when I have more time and less to do than I can handle. Ok, enough reflecting on here since I'm not going to do a complete mindspew anyway.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
The Joy of Christmas
It's been said so many times before: joy comes from the Lord; we shouldn't see it as being circumstantial. But you know what? I still fall into that trap a lot. Or I fall into a similar one ruled by cognitive dissonance. I have joy. And I can be happy. But I have a melancholy personality. When I feel crappy, I know I have joy in my Savior. But I don't really get excited about Christmas. Sometimes I question if something is wrong with me. I love my Lord. I want to share Him with others. He has given me the gift of generosity. When I get to serve others, that brings me joy.
There's less than 2 weeks until Christmas. Am I looking forward to it? Not particularly. I don't have gifts for any of my family members. And I can't really afford to get them anything. From past experience, they don't seem to really appreciate the effort I put into making things for them. So gift giving is nearly a lost cause for me. Based on the less-than-pleasant experience of visiting them over Thanksgiving, I'm not really looking forward to that aspect much, either. Or having strange conversations with my family about faith - my father would stop going to church rather than give up the Masonic lodge if he were forced to choose, because he doesn't want the church to stifle his freedom; my sister stopped going to church services and goes to a book study currently on The Shack; she may or may not believe in mediums or reincarnation. And they don't really understand why I'm in seminary. I feel like I don't get support for what I do or what I want to do from them. They are unsatisfied with the church they are members of, but they refuse to try to make a difference or to look for another church because they're all the same.
So what of this joy that I am supposed to experience this time of year? I have hope in my Savior. I have joy in Him and in ministering in His name, for His glory. Christmastime doesn't make me giddy or excited. I cherish the hymns that remind us of how amazing God's plan is for our salvation through Jesus Christ. I appreciate greens and poinsettias. But it seems like I'm missing something crucial. Instead of anxiously awaiting the celebration of the birth of the Savior, it seems like a cultural thing that I'd like to pass. I'd love to truly celebrate it. I'd love to celebrate it with my family. I'd love to spend an hour with them in prayer. I'd love to open up to them about life and spiritual matters. I'd love to share with them my faith. I'd love to share the importance of the Scriptures pointing to Christ, God's Son and humanity's Redeemer. I'd love for them to become a people of prayer. I'd love to see their lives truly changed by the Lord. I'd love for my father to be joyful, not cynical. I'd love for him to have godly friends and to spend time with them. I'd love for him to be a true spiritual leader in the family, not just a spiritual decision-maker, whether for good or bad. I'd love for my mother to study the Bible, to understand it deeper, to be able to defend her faith. I'd love for my sister to date a man of God, not a decent person who's an unbeliever. I'd love for her to see why and how there's a difference. I'd love to see her give up watching the trashy tv shows and music. I'd love her to be strengthened and encouraged and challenged in her faith. And I'd love to tell more people about the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ, wholly man and wholly God, who experienced what it is to be human, who gave his life as a ransom for sin, that all who believe and call on Him would be saved. And I'd love a godly woman to share my life and faith with me. I'd love to empower others to study God's Word and to live by it. I'd love to call believers to live in holiness. I'd love to call believers to go out and stand with God in His mission to bring His message of forgiveness by faith through Jesus Christ to all the peoples of the earth, whether that means in Appalachia, the Pyrenees, the Andes, the Urals or anywhere else. I'd love to call cultural Christians to make a choice about Jesus and to lay down their lives to Him in obedience. I'd love to teach those people who call themselves Christians and yet don't know what it means to be one. I'd love to explain the Scriptures to them, to tell them about God's mission to reach ALL peoples. I'd love to worship and rejoice with my brothers and sisters in Christ throughout the world, to share with them the cup, to teach them and learn from them. Is the joy of Christmas in knowing that God is in control? Is it that Christ has already won the victory for us? Is it to know the future is certain and that God is sovereign over it, as the prophets often understood and anticipated? Is it to have faith in the Lord regardless of our circumstances?
I'd love for you to join with me in praying for these things, that the Lord would be glorified in us and in all that He does. May the joy of Christmas, the hope in the Lord and Savior who came to save us and to call us to Himself, be spread to all the peoples of the earth.
There's less than 2 weeks until Christmas. Am I looking forward to it? Not particularly. I don't have gifts for any of my family members. And I can't really afford to get them anything. From past experience, they don't seem to really appreciate the effort I put into making things for them. So gift giving is nearly a lost cause for me. Based on the less-than-pleasant experience of visiting them over Thanksgiving, I'm not really looking forward to that aspect much, either. Or having strange conversations with my family about faith - my father would stop going to church rather than give up the Masonic lodge if he were forced to choose, because he doesn't want the church to stifle his freedom; my sister stopped going to church services and goes to a book study currently on The Shack; she may or may not believe in mediums or reincarnation. And they don't really understand why I'm in seminary. I feel like I don't get support for what I do or what I want to do from them. They are unsatisfied with the church they are members of, but they refuse to try to make a difference or to look for another church because they're all the same.
So what of this joy that I am supposed to experience this time of year? I have hope in my Savior. I have joy in Him and in ministering in His name, for His glory. Christmastime doesn't make me giddy or excited. I cherish the hymns that remind us of how amazing God's plan is for our salvation through Jesus Christ. I appreciate greens and poinsettias. But it seems like I'm missing something crucial. Instead of anxiously awaiting the celebration of the birth of the Savior, it seems like a cultural thing that I'd like to pass. I'd love to truly celebrate it. I'd love to celebrate it with my family. I'd love to spend an hour with them in prayer. I'd love to open up to them about life and spiritual matters. I'd love to share with them my faith. I'd love to share the importance of the Scriptures pointing to Christ, God's Son and humanity's Redeemer. I'd love for them to become a people of prayer. I'd love to see their lives truly changed by the Lord. I'd love for my father to be joyful, not cynical. I'd love for him to have godly friends and to spend time with them. I'd love for him to be a true spiritual leader in the family, not just a spiritual decision-maker, whether for good or bad. I'd love for my mother to study the Bible, to understand it deeper, to be able to defend her faith. I'd love for my sister to date a man of God, not a decent person who's an unbeliever. I'd love for her to see why and how there's a difference. I'd love to see her give up watching the trashy tv shows and music. I'd love her to be strengthened and encouraged and challenged in her faith. And I'd love to tell more people about the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ, wholly man and wholly God, who experienced what it is to be human, who gave his life as a ransom for sin, that all who believe and call on Him would be saved. And I'd love a godly woman to share my life and faith with me. I'd love to empower others to study God's Word and to live by it. I'd love to call believers to live in holiness. I'd love to call believers to go out and stand with God in His mission to bring His message of forgiveness by faith through Jesus Christ to all the peoples of the earth, whether that means in Appalachia, the Pyrenees, the Andes, the Urals or anywhere else. I'd love to call cultural Christians to make a choice about Jesus and to lay down their lives to Him in obedience. I'd love to teach those people who call themselves Christians and yet don't know what it means to be one. I'd love to explain the Scriptures to them, to tell them about God's mission to reach ALL peoples. I'd love to worship and rejoice with my brothers and sisters in Christ throughout the world, to share with them the cup, to teach them and learn from them. Is the joy of Christmas in knowing that God is in control? Is it that Christ has already won the victory for us? Is it to know the future is certain and that God is sovereign over it, as the prophets often understood and anticipated? Is it to have faith in the Lord regardless of our circumstances?
I'd love for you to join with me in praying for these things, that the Lord would be glorified in us and in all that He does. May the joy of Christmas, the hope in the Lord and Savior who came to save us and to call us to Himself, be spread to all the peoples of the earth.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Forgiveness
At what cost are we forgiven? It's a question that comes to mind once in a while for me. I cringe at the simplistic answer "Jesus" because forgiveness is a deeper issue than that. Forgiveness of sins can be granted by God alone. Jesus emphasized this point when he claimed the ability to forgive sins (and thus claimed equality with God). But when I studied that statement in my class on the Gospels, the claim of forgiveness itself was not the issue. As my professor argued, it was easy to say that someone was forgiven, as that was a spiritual claim which could not be proven either way until that person reaches the final judgment (Matt. 9:2-8). But the healing, that was a problem because of the claim that Jesus made in doing it. Jesus made forgiveness sound simple here (Matt. 9:2, 5, 6). Jesus also warned at various times that people must forgive or face judgment for their likewise unforgiven sins (Matt. 6:12; Luke 6:37; John 20:23) So at what cost are we forgiven?
I say I'm sorry for stupid things. Unfortunately it happens frequently enough that I can remember times off the top of my head. But if I hurt somebody, or if I grieve God, what is the real cost of forgiveness? For the little things we often just brush them off; of course I forgive you for doing the little stuff that somehow hurt me. Maybe you were impolite to me. I'm over it. You are forgiven. But that's not the kind of forgiveness that I mean. And I think the reaction of not being mad or hurt by your (in)action begs the question of whether it's even actually forgiveness.
So what is forgiveness? It's ridding a debt between two parties. If I gossip about you, I have caused a problem for which I need to be forgiven. I have made myself the debtor in our relationship. No longer are we equals in this sense. My action has brought me into your debt. If I submit to it, you have control over me. Some people use this situation as a means for blackmail. You can lord the debt over me, though the degree of its effectiveness over my future actions depends on how I feel about it as well as other factors. There's a debt between two parties when forgiveness is necessary.
What is the cost of this forgiveness? I don't think about what it costs a person to forgive me. I don't think about the hours or days or longer that it takes for a person to forgive me. I don't think about Jesus' life when I ask for forgiveness of my sins. Occasionally I think about his death and resurrection. Sacrifices could not have imperfections. Jesus led a sinless life despite the temptations. Sins demand death. I am ransomed from death by the blood of the Lamb of God, who was slain for the forgiveness of sins of the world. Is forgiveness easy? Is it difficult? Was it difficult for Jesus? When he told people their sins were forgiven, did he think about his impending death on the cross? His resurrection? His ascension? Or did he just think of the authority granted him by the Father?
I don't fully understand the mystery of forgiveness. I know what it is. I know that I need it. I know that it is vital. It's costly. An innocent man gave his life for it. And I can - I must - forgive others as I have been forgiven. I must not let my pride keep me from forgiveness. It's challenging and freeing. But I feel unready and unworthy. And then I see grace in forgiveness.
I say I'm sorry for stupid things. Unfortunately it happens frequently enough that I can remember times off the top of my head. But if I hurt somebody, or if I grieve God, what is the real cost of forgiveness? For the little things we often just brush them off; of course I forgive you for doing the little stuff that somehow hurt me. Maybe you were impolite to me. I'm over it. You are forgiven. But that's not the kind of forgiveness that I mean. And I think the reaction of not being mad or hurt by your (in)action begs the question of whether it's even actually forgiveness.
So what is forgiveness? It's ridding a debt between two parties. If I gossip about you, I have caused a problem for which I need to be forgiven. I have made myself the debtor in our relationship. No longer are we equals in this sense. My action has brought me into your debt. If I submit to it, you have control over me. Some people use this situation as a means for blackmail. You can lord the debt over me, though the degree of its effectiveness over my future actions depends on how I feel about it as well as other factors. There's a debt between two parties when forgiveness is necessary.
What is the cost of this forgiveness? I don't think about what it costs a person to forgive me. I don't think about the hours or days or longer that it takes for a person to forgive me. I don't think about Jesus' life when I ask for forgiveness of my sins. Occasionally I think about his death and resurrection. Sacrifices could not have imperfections. Jesus led a sinless life despite the temptations. Sins demand death. I am ransomed from death by the blood of the Lamb of God, who was slain for the forgiveness of sins of the world. Is forgiveness easy? Is it difficult? Was it difficult for Jesus? When he told people their sins were forgiven, did he think about his impending death on the cross? His resurrection? His ascension? Or did he just think of the authority granted him by the Father?
I don't fully understand the mystery of forgiveness. I know what it is. I know that I need it. I know that it is vital. It's costly. An innocent man gave his life for it. And I can - I must - forgive others as I have been forgiven. I must not let my pride keep me from forgiveness. It's challenging and freeing. But I feel unready and unworthy. And then I see grace in forgiveness.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
some thoughts and a prayer
I am becoming convinced that sarcasm/cynicism breeds contempt.
Pretty much every day there are things that I should have handled differently. I'm getting tired of the taste of my feet. Somehow there's solace in Matthew 18:21-22, but I still find myself questioning it so often. I don't just want to think about and hear about grace. I think that can be the easy way out instead of really delving into the issues. If effectively unlimited forgiveness is the case, why does my church family kick me and tell me to get up (or to stay out of their way) when I know I've fallen? Yes, they're sinners also saved by the grace of the same God. How can we love our neighbors when we get frustrated and sick of our own family?
How can I truly share the fullness of joy and love in Christ Jesus my Savior when I feel, and have felt for some time now, the vast distance between myself and Him? I feel so distant from Him. And I'm trying to get back, I'm making time, I'm praying, but God still just feels distant. Maybe someone will remind me that even my feelings can be wrong, that God still loves me, just as much as always, that He has plans for me, that He is sovereign, that I need to rejoice in good days and bad. I'm exhausted in pretty much every sense. The only thing really left to do is to go cry before my Father somewhere in private. Maybe He's just let me become this exhausted so that I will cry, so that I can come before Him fully broken, not just cracked and hoping to get refurbished. I don't know.
How far can I fall but Your grace will still catch me? I cannot fathom the answer. You who knew me before I was born, You who called me from long ago. You alone are my Help, Redeemer. What I deserve, I hope never to see even in my dreams. I cannot stand before Your Holiness as a sinner. What mortal can look upon Your glory? To live for You would be a gift to small for the Creator and Sustainer of the universe, of life. Jesus Christ suffered and died in my place. That is something I lose sight of far too often. Oh Lord, please heal my vision that I would see You clearly, that You would be the center of my focus. May not I but You be in control of my life. May what You desire be what I desire.
Pretty much every day there are things that I should have handled differently. I'm getting tired of the taste of my feet. Somehow there's solace in Matthew 18:21-22, but I still find myself questioning it so often. I don't just want to think about and hear about grace. I think that can be the easy way out instead of really delving into the issues. If effectively unlimited forgiveness is the case, why does my church family kick me and tell me to get up (or to stay out of their way) when I know I've fallen? Yes, they're sinners also saved by the grace of the same God. How can we love our neighbors when we get frustrated and sick of our own family?
How can I truly share the fullness of joy and love in Christ Jesus my Savior when I feel, and have felt for some time now, the vast distance between myself and Him? I feel so distant from Him. And I'm trying to get back, I'm making time, I'm praying, but God still just feels distant. Maybe someone will remind me that even my feelings can be wrong, that God still loves me, just as much as always, that He has plans for me, that He is sovereign, that I need to rejoice in good days and bad. I'm exhausted in pretty much every sense. The only thing really left to do is to go cry before my Father somewhere in private. Maybe He's just let me become this exhausted so that I will cry, so that I can come before Him fully broken, not just cracked and hoping to get refurbished. I don't know.
How far can I fall but Your grace will still catch me? I cannot fathom the answer. You who knew me before I was born, You who called me from long ago. You alone are my Help, Redeemer. What I deserve, I hope never to see even in my dreams. I cannot stand before Your Holiness as a sinner. What mortal can look upon Your glory? To live for You would be a gift to small for the Creator and Sustainer of the universe, of life. Jesus Christ suffered and died in my place. That is something I lose sight of far too often. Oh Lord, please heal my vision that I would see You clearly, that You would be the center of my focus. May not I but You be in control of my life. May what You desire be what I desire.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Obedience
I wish that I could say honestly that I am fully obedient to my Lord, at all times in all ways. But the more I know my Lord, the more I see how far away my shortcomings take me - and thus I see ever more the need for what He has done by His suffering, death and resurrection in order to forgive my multitude of sins and to bring me back into a right relationship with Him. And so the more I know Him and understand what He has done for me and for all mankind, the more I love and admire Him and the more I desire to serve Him.
To what extent should we be obedient to Him? We who believe and thus are saved are to become increasingly like Jesus Christ. Since He is God, disobedience to any of what He has commanded is sin. Therefore we ought to be striving to be fully obedient to His words, easy or difficult, for better or for worse.
Obedience should be of utmost importance to us. Jesus Christ died for our sins. Because of His obedience to the Father, we can rejoice in the fact that we have new life in Him. We ought to willingly submit our entire lives to Him. What should happen when obedience to God becomes detrimental to our earthly lives? We must seek to be obedient all the more. There are times when this is a tremendous challenge. But if Jesus Christ commands it, that should be sufficient for us to obey.
What if we are obedient but our ministries are unfruitful? We get frustrated. Without quantitative progress, perhaps resources we need will be diverted to faster growing areas, leaving us in need. Certain fields are considered ministerial "dead zones." But even there -- especially there -- our witness to the saving work of our Lord Jesus Christ must remain. As Hesselgrave wrote, "Years of patient preevangelistic endeavor may be the price of responsiveness" to the Gospel. We cannot give up. Even if there were no other reason to continue, Christ commands us to be witnesses. That alone would be enough. It doesn't make obedience easier, but regardless, we still must be obedient. Until His triumphant return, we are to be His witnesses. The sower must plant seeds in drought and in fair weather, for he never knows when the rains will come and when they will be withheld. The sower does not stop planting because the harvest is forecast to be small. Therefore let us have hope and be strengthened, obedient to our Lord and Savior. It may not be easy, but it is a worthy endeavor.
To what extent should we be obedient to Him? We who believe and thus are saved are to become increasingly like Jesus Christ. Since He is God, disobedience to any of what He has commanded is sin. Therefore we ought to be striving to be fully obedient to His words, easy or difficult, for better or for worse.
Obedience should be of utmost importance to us. Jesus Christ died for our sins. Because of His obedience to the Father, we can rejoice in the fact that we have new life in Him. We ought to willingly submit our entire lives to Him. What should happen when obedience to God becomes detrimental to our earthly lives? We must seek to be obedient all the more. There are times when this is a tremendous challenge. But if Jesus Christ commands it, that should be sufficient for us to obey.
What if we are obedient but our ministries are unfruitful? We get frustrated. Without quantitative progress, perhaps resources we need will be diverted to faster growing areas, leaving us in need. Certain fields are considered ministerial "dead zones." But even there -- especially there -- our witness to the saving work of our Lord Jesus Christ must remain. As Hesselgrave wrote, "Years of patient preevangelistic endeavor may be the price of responsiveness" to the Gospel. We cannot give up. Even if there were no other reason to continue, Christ commands us to be witnesses. That alone would be enough. It doesn't make obedience easier, but regardless, we still must be obedient. Until His triumphant return, we are to be His witnesses. The sower must plant seeds in drought and in fair weather, for he never knows when the rains will come and when they will be withheld. The sower does not stop planting because the harvest is forecast to be small. Therefore let us have hope and be strengthened, obedient to our Lord and Savior. It may not be easy, but it is a worthy endeavor.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Beautiful Words
Lamentations 3:21-33
But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."
The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul that seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for one to bear the yoke in youth, to sit alone in silence when the Lord has imposed it, to put one's mouth to the dust (there may yet be hope), to give one's cheek to the smiter, and be filled with insults.
For the Lord will not reject forever. Although he causes grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not willingly afflict or grieve anyone.
There is such beauty and pathos in Lamentations. These verses have been special to me lately as I recognize the certainty and assurance of God's love and His plans, the yearning for what has been promised, the perseverance and looking to God through trials, and the hope that is found in Him. Through big, life-changing events and the day to day insecurities, God is faithful and unchanging. In Him is my hope and my future.
But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."
The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul that seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for one to bear the yoke in youth, to sit alone in silence when the Lord has imposed it, to put one's mouth to the dust (there may yet be hope), to give one's cheek to the smiter, and be filled with insults.
For the Lord will not reject forever. Although he causes grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not willingly afflict or grieve anyone.
There is such beauty and pathos in Lamentations. These verses have been special to me lately as I recognize the certainty and assurance of God's love and His plans, the yearning for what has been promised, the perseverance and looking to God through trials, and the hope that is found in Him. Through big, life-changing events and the day to day insecurities, God is faithful and unchanging. In Him is my hope and my future.
Monday, June 15, 2009
On Maturing
Calling me a mature believer would be a vast overstatement. And I say that being aware that I'm not entirely aware of my faults and shortcomings and struggles. And yet my faith is so much more mature, strong and vibrant than many in the Church. Teaching all that Christ has commanded falls flat in many churches unfortunately. Can the "average Christian" in this age even explain his/her beliefs? Does s/he even know what s/he claims to believe? I'm not arguing that I am any better than others. Instead I see and point out the great chasm that separates the "average Christian", at least in this age and culture, from those who would contend for the faith and teach others and who seek to know and to follow all of Christ's commands. We need to be doing a lot more. Creating multitudes of "infantile" believers is hurting the Church in many ways. False teachers and false prophets draw away people who know no better, and somehow it becomes acceptable doctrine. Do you want a church that is able to be self-sustaining, prepared for growth, teaching truth, evangelizing, baptizing? Equip the members of the body of Christ for the work to which He calls us by the Holy Spirit. What can we do to strengthen and encourage and teach?
Another issue regarding maturity is checking our motivations. Why do you come to church, if you do? Why do you go to a particular church? Is it about Christ? Is it about worship? Is it about a feeling? Is it about the teaching?
Lord, may You build up Your Church and prepare her for Your glorious, triumphant return. May You lead us and teach us; help us to be effective followers and witnesses of Your work. May we be lights in the darkness.
Another issue regarding maturity is checking our motivations. Why do you come to church, if you do? Why do you go to a particular church? Is it about Christ? Is it about worship? Is it about a feeling? Is it about the teaching?
Lord, may You build up Your Church and prepare her for Your glorious, triumphant return. May You lead us and teach us; help us to be effective followers and witnesses of Your work. May we be lights in the darkness.
Short But Profound
The pastor said something in his sermon a week or two ago that struck me. Although I already believed in the concept of "once saved, always saved", his logic on the topic was very simple and made great sense to me. Salvation is only gained by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. If there is nothing that we can do to earn salvation (and there isn't; we're all sinners, and the wage of sin is death), why then would there be any way to lose salvation? We are called as believers to be Christ's witness in this world, and that includes doing good works. But that's something we should be doing, and the Holy Spirit should be working in the lives of believers in this and many other ways. We still sin even though we believe, although we are being sanctified (actively, I would posit, as opposed to passively) by the work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of us believers. We still live by grace and thus are able to confidently believe that the work of Jesus Christ by his death and resurrection cannot be lost - otherwise it would be scarcely better than living under the Law alone.
Of course, I do have a question about OSAS. What about apostates? How can we clearly define apostasy? Is the heart of apostasy essentially a renunciation of one's faith (saying to God, "I reject what Christ allegedly has done for me and what He allegedly calls me to do")? If so, it would make sense that apostasy would not fit under the once saved, always saved category because it would be the only real way to undo what you once claimed. Are prodigals once and always saved? The simple answer is that only God truly knows their hearts, if they are questioning or rejecting or if perhaps they never truly believed.
Some might argue that any who commits sin is rebelling against God. By so doing they would claim that the sinner willfully rejects God by rejecting His will. Thus sin (notice how I'm avoiding defining it?) would be sufficient grounds for loss of salvation. That's why it's so important to work at it after we have it. But if sin causes us to fall from a right relationship with God, the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ brings atonement of our sins and brings us back into a right relationship. Would we lose and gain our salvation so easily as to sin, repent and believe time and time again? I guess that's how the living by grace comes into play. Nonetheless, I'll stick to the belief that there's only one Way to be saved. If we can't earn it, why would we possibly to able to un-earn it?
Of course, I do have a question about OSAS. What about apostates? How can we clearly define apostasy? Is the heart of apostasy essentially a renunciation of one's faith (saying to God, "I reject what Christ allegedly has done for me and what He allegedly calls me to do")? If so, it would make sense that apostasy would not fit under the once saved, always saved category because it would be the only real way to undo what you once claimed. Are prodigals once and always saved? The simple answer is that only God truly knows their hearts, if they are questioning or rejecting or if perhaps they never truly believed.
Some might argue that any who commits sin is rebelling against God. By so doing they would claim that the sinner willfully rejects God by rejecting His will. Thus sin (notice how I'm avoiding defining it?) would be sufficient grounds for loss of salvation. That's why it's so important to work at it after we have it. But if sin causes us to fall from a right relationship with God, the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ brings atonement of our sins and brings us back into a right relationship. Would we lose and gain our salvation so easily as to sin, repent and believe time and time again? I guess that's how the living by grace comes into play. Nonetheless, I'll stick to the belief that there's only one Way to be saved. If we can't earn it, why would we possibly to able to un-earn it?
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Epic Fail
The last two days I spent traveling to Michigan to visit a seminary and meet friends at SEND on the way home. The trip was great, learning about the school, finding that there are some ties to this new place for me, getting to know people much better, and safe travels. The rain storm I met on my way into Michigan on Thursday was also my travel buddy back through Ohio on Friday night. The roads got nasty; water laying on the road + trucks kicking up lots of thick mist + night + my car (for which people had been praying that it would get me to Michigan and back safely) = tough driving. I called a friend and asked for prayer for safe driving. An hour later, the fun began.
I was driving on I-80 near Youngstown, Ohio. For whatever reason, I hadn't remembered to get directions back to Indiana. When I saw a road sign for PA 422, I took it without thinking that I should wait to get on it a little later in my trip. It's around 11pm. As I'm following 422 through some towns, my car dies. Thankfully it drifts to a safe spot on the side of the road. The rain is coming down really hard at this point. I call my family and ask their advice. They look up a phone number for a towing company that should be nearby. The tow truck is on its way but can't seem to find me. As I wait near an intersection, a man comes down from the bar a half block up the street. He asks what the problem is and says he'll fix it for twenty bucks - cheaper than a tow truck would be. I'm stuck, I'm waiting for the tow truck, and now there's a guy hounding me for money. I was hoping for a good Samaritan to give it a jump start.
After a while the tow truck driver calls and says he can't find it and he's been up and down the street I said. The guy from the bar gets my car to start. I give him a few bucks (all that's in my wallet) for helping me. But it's not the twenty he wanted, so he stays in my car and says lets go to an ATM. Feeling like I don't have much choice, we go up the road to a gas station. I have to let the car idle while I go in, afraid that it might not start again. As I'm about to go into the gas station grudgingly, the car dies again. I really don't want to pay this guy any more, but I don't think I can get rid of him any other way. The tow truck driver calls back and says that the place I named where it broke down was way out of his area. Apparently I'm not in the town I thought. The guy gets someone to come over and give the car a jump. Thankfully I had jumper cables. After a few minutes it starts. So I get him the twenty dollars he's been after. I hope that he doesn't drive off before I return. I give him the money and we part ways. Somehow my car makes it the rest of the way back home.
About a minute down the road I realize what just happened. Why did I take that detour? Why did my car die? Why did he come down? I read less than a day earlier about the paralytic in Acts. The apostles didn't have money to offer but they shared the gospel - the greatest gift of all time. I met that man to share Jesus Christ with him, but I didn't do it. In my time of stress and trial, it crossed my mind once, briefly, and I didn't act on it. I confess, I repent, but what if that man never again has a chance to hear the Gospel?
Lord, merciful and gracious beyond our understanding, help us to be Your lights in this world. May You find a way to reach every man, woman and child with Your message, that none who would turn to You for salvation remain without a witness.
I was driving on I-80 near Youngstown, Ohio. For whatever reason, I hadn't remembered to get directions back to Indiana. When I saw a road sign for PA 422, I took it without thinking that I should wait to get on it a little later in my trip. It's around 11pm. As I'm following 422 through some towns, my car dies. Thankfully it drifts to a safe spot on the side of the road. The rain is coming down really hard at this point. I call my family and ask their advice. They look up a phone number for a towing company that should be nearby. The tow truck is on its way but can't seem to find me. As I wait near an intersection, a man comes down from the bar a half block up the street. He asks what the problem is and says he'll fix it for twenty bucks - cheaper than a tow truck would be. I'm stuck, I'm waiting for the tow truck, and now there's a guy hounding me for money. I was hoping for a good Samaritan to give it a jump start.
After a while the tow truck driver calls and says he can't find it and he's been up and down the street I said. The guy from the bar gets my car to start. I give him a few bucks (all that's in my wallet) for helping me. But it's not the twenty he wanted, so he stays in my car and says lets go to an ATM. Feeling like I don't have much choice, we go up the road to a gas station. I have to let the car idle while I go in, afraid that it might not start again. As I'm about to go into the gas station grudgingly, the car dies again. I really don't want to pay this guy any more, but I don't think I can get rid of him any other way. The tow truck driver calls back and says that the place I named where it broke down was way out of his area. Apparently I'm not in the town I thought. The guy gets someone to come over and give the car a jump. Thankfully I had jumper cables. After a few minutes it starts. So I get him the twenty dollars he's been after. I hope that he doesn't drive off before I return. I give him the money and we part ways. Somehow my car makes it the rest of the way back home.
About a minute down the road I realize what just happened. Why did I take that detour? Why did my car die? Why did he come down? I read less than a day earlier about the paralytic in Acts. The apostles didn't have money to offer but they shared the gospel - the greatest gift of all time. I met that man to share Jesus Christ with him, but I didn't do it. In my time of stress and trial, it crossed my mind once, briefly, and I didn't act on it. I confess, I repent, but what if that man never again has a chance to hear the Gospel?
Lord, merciful and gracious beyond our understanding, help us to be Your lights in this world. May You find a way to reach every man, woman and child with Your message, that none who would turn to You for salvation remain without a witness.
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